Fic: Desperate Times
Title: Desperate Times
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Bill/Sirius
Count: 1,216
Warnings: Bad sex and general unhappiness
Notes: when envinyatar15 and fort_army asked for Bill/Sirius, they probably didn't mean this.




Sirius kept his bedroom furnishings sparse. He had told Bill once, before everything, that his mother had long ago gotten rid of anything personal he had left there before he'd moved out. Since his return he'd emptied the room out even more, hating the memories the familiar furniture always conjured up. Hating feeling like a prisoner in his own home again, and knowing that it was real.

Bill understood some of that, of course. It was true that he had been running to something when he had left home, instead of just away from something, but he had still been running. That was the first bond between them, and if either of them had been paying attention it might have given them pause. People who run, after all, are not always stable enough to build a foundation on.

Everything in the room now had been collected haphazardly from all other parts of the house. The double bed had once belonged in one of the lesser guest rooms, used only when distant, poorer relatives came to visit. It was currently wedged into the corner furthest from the door, looking as if a herd of Hippogriffs had recently stampeded over it. The sheets were musty and ragged, not that Sirius seemed to notice or care. Near the foot of the bed sat an empty wardrobe, introduced to the room by Remus in a futile attempt to make Sirius pick his dirty clothes up off the floor. The only other thing in the room, the nightstand, always had at least one empty whisky bottle rattling around on it, and on special occasions even a dirty glass or two.

He couldn't stand to be in the room when he was awake. It was dreary, dirty and empty, and reminded him too much of his current existence. Despite hating the room, he did look forward to using it: falling asleep – or, more accurately, passing out – had become his favourite part of each day. Sometimes he thought that if he hadn't brought Bill up there when he had, he would've committed suicide in those first desolate months.

Some days it was bad indeed, but some days it was a little bit better. Those were mostly the days that he and Remus would drink and talk about old times until neither one of them could walk a straight line to save his life. They were both lonely, and sometimes it was enough just to be lonely together. Until Remus left on yet another of Dumbledore's errands, and took his memories and laughter with him.

So Sirius took what he could get. It had started out drunkenly, as these things do, though Sirius would always suspect that neither he nor Bill had been half as drunk as they were pretending to be. He had been watching Bill watch him for over a week before they were alone together, up late finishing a bottle of wine that Bill had brought to dinner.

Sirius had yawned, pushing himself away from the table with careful casualness. "I'm going to bed. Are you going to stay here tonight or try to find your way home?"

Bill had smiled, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Your sofa is about as comfortable as my bed, I'm sorry to say. I'll likely just sleep here. At least I know Mum will get me up with a pepper up potion in the morning, no matter how hung over I might be. At home I'll be left to my own devices."

Sirius had nodded. "In that case, you might as well come upstairs and sleep in a proper bed."

He had looked Bill straight in the eye as he said it, and Bill had gotten up and followed him up the stairs without another word.

He pinned Bill to the wall, lips and teeth moving fiercely over Bill's neck as his hands tore at his collar. Sirius pulled on the cloth until the buttons danced across the floor, revealing ghost white skin and dusky nipples. Wiry muscles quivered slightly under his touch as Sirius moved down Bill's chest, mouthing at anything he could reach. Broad hands sprinkled with red hair settled on his shoulders, guiding him down unmistakably.

Sirius quirked a grin before obligingly falling to his knees. After more than a decade without getting laid he wasn't about to play dominance games with Bill now. He leaned his forehead against Bill's stomach while jerking briskly at the dragonhide belt. Bill's hands moved to cup the back of his head, stroked roughly through his dark hair, wrapping it around long fingers until it felt like it would tear out.

He yanked open Bill's fly, using his thumb to trace languid figure eights on the hardening cock beneath the thin cotton trousers. He remembered Harry once describing Bill wrapped in leather and dragonhide, and his own dick pulsed at the image. It was a shame how time changed things.

He took Bill into his mouth unhurriedly, easing the length past his tongue. It had been a very, very long time since he had done this; choking suddenly seemed like a particularly likely possibility. Somehow Sirius doubted that Bill would appreciate that much – though he probably appreciated the accidental swipes of teeth even less. Sirius's suspicions were confirmed when Bill's hands abruptly clenched in his hair, then pushed his head gently away.

Sirius wiped his mouth and stood, yanking his shirt off over his head as he followed Bill to the bed. He had just started to unbutton his trousers when Bill's hands found his shoulders again, pushing him down across filthy sheets. The trousers were shoved down to his knees and he was turned onto his stomach.

'Do you have…?"

Sirius rose to his knees, cradling his head in his arms. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Nightstand. In the drawer."

His teeth gritted as long, thin fingers entered him, prodding indelicately for a few seconds before being snatched away and replaced by something much bigger. There was no warning, just white burning as Bill entered him slowly. It increased in intensity until Sirius couldn't choke back a moan, his body tensing uncontrollably around Bill in pain.

Bill paused for a moment, his gulping breaths hissing past Sirius's ear. Then he resumed pressing forward until he was fully sheathed. One slippery hand snaked out to engulf Sirius's half-hard prick, stroking it to erection as Bill began to thrust. The pain in his arse eased slightly, settling into discomfort. After only a minute or so Sirius felt the pressure in his balls beginning to build. He had a second of terror and shame before he was coming hard, body pulsing in muted pleasure. Bill had to push him forward as his leg muscles relaxed, continuing to thrust as Sirius went limp around him. He finally came with a grunt, his hands clutching Sirius's shoulders hard enough to leave bruises. Finally he pulled out and rolled over.

Sirius flipped over onto his back, moving carefully to the other side of the bed. Bill didn't touch him, but after a few minutes he was aware of the other man's breath levelling out and deepening as he settled into sleep. He concentrated on the strange sound of another person in his bed, and at some point managed to fall asleep himself.